I am a "Runner". I used to be a "Dancer", well, I still love to dance too but there is something about running. I don't know how to describe it. I am no athlete by most peoples description but in my heart and in my soul, I am a "Runner". Those of you who run, know what I'm talking about. I always said, "I will never run!" As Fiefel says "Never say never". When I started running, I didn't like it, not one bit. OK, well, maybe one bit. The part I liked was that I was doing something with my husband and my son and now my daughter and my other son too.
I used to only run with someone else. It was too boring to do by myself. Revelation: There is something I have come to realize about myself. I used to hate to be home alone. I always had to be out doing something when the kids were at school and BJ was at work. I had to go shop or go out with friends or just go anywhere. The last two years, I have found that I really like being alone. What's the difference? I realized that I like myself more now. Not to be proud or boast. I just enjoy being around me. I have gained such confidence, not just by losing weight but by the accomplishments that I have made for myself in running. These accomplishments are really nothing to brag about in the "running world" but in my world, they were mountains that I climbed! I'm not breaking any records but my own and that's what counts.
I have a long way to go, especially with my recent set back. I had a herniated disc removed from my neck four weeks ago. I went running today for the first time since the surgery. For the last two nights, I have been up late, just antsy, wondering what is the matter. I couldn't go to bed. I just felt unsettled. I realized today as I was running, that I was just out of sorts because I hadn't been running. This is how I used to feel all the time. I couldn't sleep, I was anxious, I was depressed sometimes. I know that running has cured me of all that and I realize now that I was starting to slip back into that.
As I left for my run today, the Lord blessed this day to have some beautiful sunshine. I was pretty sure that he did that for me:) It was pouring down rain and then all of a sudden, it was sunny and I knew that I wouldn't have to go do my run at the gym. I went slow on purpose but just the feeling of running and the sunshine made me start to get a little emotional. I couldn't stop the tears from trickling down. Who would have thought that running a mile could make you cry. Once again, I will regain control of my body and continue my journey to be healthier and happier than ever. I can't thank the Lord enough for giving me this wonderful life! I am blessed.
