I am a "Runner"

           
I am a "Runner".  I used to be a "Dancer", well,  I still love to dance too but there is something about running.  I don't know how to describe it.  I am no athlete by most peoples description but in my heart and in my soul,  I am a "Runner".  Those of you who run, know what I'm talking about.   I always said, "I will never run!"  As Fiefel says "Never say never".  When I started running,  I didn't like it, not one bit.  OK, well, maybe one bit.  The part I liked was that I was doing something with my husband and my son and now my daughter and my other son too.
    I used to only run with someone else.  It was too boring to do by myself.  Revelation:  There is something I have come to realize about myself.  I used to hate to be home alone.  I always had to be out doing something when the kids were at school and BJ was at work.  I had to go shop or go out with friends or just go anywhere.  The last two years,  I have found that I really like being alone.  What's the difference?  I realized that I like myself more now.  Not to be proud or boast.  I just enjoy being around me.  I have gained such confidence, not just by losing weight but by the accomplishments that I have made for myself in running.  These accomplishments are really nothing to brag about in the "running world" but in my world, they were mountains that I climbed!  I'm not breaking any records but my own and that's what counts.
   I have a long way to go, especially with my recent set back.  I had a herniated disc removed from my neck four weeks ago.  I went running today for the first time since the surgery.  For the last two nights, I have been up late, just antsy, wondering what is the matter.  I couldn't go to bed.  I just felt unsettled.  I realized today as I was running, that I was just out of sorts because I hadn't been running.  This is how I used to feel all the time.  I couldn't sleep,  I was anxious,  I was depressed sometimes.  I know that running has cured me of all that and I realize now that I was starting to slip back into that.
    As I left for my run today,  the Lord blessed this day to have some beautiful sunshine.  I was pretty sure that he did that for me:)  It was pouring down rain and then all of a sudden, it was sunny and I knew that I wouldn't have to go do my run at the gym.  I went slow on purpose but just the feeling of running and the sunshine made me start to get a little emotional.  I couldn't stop the tears from trickling down.  Who would have thought that running a mile could make you cry.  Once again,  I will regain control of my body and continue my journey to be healthier and happier than ever.  I can't thank the Lord enough for giving me this wonderful life!  I am blessed.